Shopping Assistance, My Foot
by pinoykengumi7
Summary: Shopping with Atobe is a horrible, horrible thing, especially if there are annoying shop assistants who just can't tell the difference between a male and a female.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Prince of Tennis or its characters. BUT I DO OWN THIS PAIRING! – I still haven't found any other fanfics with this pair xP

**Title: **Shopping Assistance, My Foot

**Rating:** T

**Genre:** Humor/Romance

**Pairing:** Atobe x Yukimura The Waltz Pair

**Summary: **Shopping with Atobe is a horrible, horrible thing, especially if there are annoying shop assistants who just don't know the difference between a male and a female.

… no comments. Random plotbunny that attacked me in English class. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUKIMURA!!

Review please?

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Frankly, Yukimura Seiichi hated shopping. He absolutely abhorred it. If it was shopping for a gift for someone or because of a special event it was tolerable, but shopping for clothes –he glared at Hyoutei's captain, even though an amiable smile was still etched on his face- in a _women's _store for _man_ like himself was not acceptable.

"How about this one? I think baby blue would suit you well."

Yukimura's eyebrow twitched dangerously. The diva may know how to dress himself well, but there was no way Atobe was going to make him wear women's clothing. And definitely not a skimpy bikini. He took the offending two-piece and calmly but methodically dropped it onto the floor and left the store, making sure to step on the frilly swimsuit on his way out.

"I am not, I repeat, not going to lower myself by wearing such crude articles of clothing, thank you very much."

Atobe coughed lightly and squirmed awkwardly under Yukimura's cold gaze.

Yukimura scowled. How in the world had they gotten to women's clothes stores anyway? Oh yes, that was right. Atobe dragged him, and somehow from women's _normal everyday_ clothing, they had found themselves in a women's _swimwear_ store. End of explanation. He knew he should have been cautious when Atobe rung up claiming he had to go clothes shopping for a third cousin twice removed who was coming over from France. She probably was non-existent. The story was just part of the ruse to get Yukimura into the 'shopping' mood.

"Um, how about this shop?" Yukimura glanced at Atobe. He felt a bit of pity for the boy. After all, he had actually disregarded his standards for once and had suggested shopping in a regular shopping mall.

"Hn." He inclined his head in reply and linked his arm with Atobe's as they entered the store. Only to be greeted by an overly enthusiastic worker-in-training.

"Oh, you two are such a cute couple. Miss, you look, like, so fabulously beautiful today."

Blink. Miss? There was no Miss around here… unless… Atobe held back a laugh, which somehow sent him into fits of coughing. "Would you like a tissue?" The saleslady (in training) pulled a packet of tissues from her breast pocket.

"N-no. (hack) I'll be fine." But inside, the narcissist was really thinking 'what the hell is a tissue going to do for a coughing fit, you dumb lady?! I need a drink of water!' Of course he didn't say that, since it was against his protocol, so he just smiled brightly at her. Unfortunately, she took that as her cue to stick around.

"Miss, there are some new dresses that have arrived. I'm sure your boyfriend would, like, love to see you in them."

Yukimura felt a vein popping on his forehead. In normal circumstances, he wouldn't have minded being called a girl, but when he was in baggy jeans with a white dress shirt with a scarf, wasn't it quite obvious that he was a _male?_ He would have stalked off, if it hadn't been for the fact that the over-enthusiastic and also annoyingly _clingy_ sales assistant-in-training was latched onto Atobe. And Atobe, being of the possessive sort, locked his arms with Yukimura's so that the boy couldn't get away if he tried.

"This one would look fabulous on you." The dress she shoved in Yukimura's face was a _wedding dress_ for crying out loud!

Atobe scanned the area hastily and whispered, "Oh. It seems we entered a bridal store." Rikkai's captain felt his temper rise, as well as his fist. At this moment, he just felt like knocking someone silly.

"—it even has matching shoes and a matching bag!"

Gods be damned, the lady was _still_ talking.

"Sir, there is a tux which goes fabulously with this fabulous dress. It would just look, like, fabulously stunning!"

And her speech was really getting to both boys' nerves. Especially with the overuse of the word 'fabulous'.

"No thank you. I'll pass." (Atobe's inner thoughts: Ore-sama's tuxedos are much better than the ones you sell here. And besides, Ore-sama doesn't _want_ a suit matching with that wedding dress. Ore-sama has a unique style, especially made to show off my manliness and my slim figure.)

"But sir, this is a fabulous buy. Are you two planning on getting married? They also have a matching baby's tuxedo, especially for newborns. Isn't that just, like, great?"

Yukimura coughed violently.

"It seems that my _fiancé_," Atobe stressed through gritted teeth, "has taken sick. I must, _like,_" at this point, Atobe had nearly snarled at the dense lady. "—take her to the doctor. Thank you _so_ much."

As they hurried out the door, they couldn't miss the bright voice that called out, "maybe she's experiencing _pre_-morning sickness! Ohhohoho!"

The blue-haired, beautiful boy detached himself from his boyfriend. "Atobe, I am _never_ going shopping with you again."

The diva just shrugged. "I wasn't so keen on the reception they have here either. Seriously, in all of the stores we went to, all the workers were all ogling you, rather than me. Except for that woman… she thought," at this point, Atobe was trying his best not to offend his boyfriend by bursting into first of laughter. "—she thought you were a girl!"

"She was such a ditz." Yukimura frowned.

"And," they both looked at each other and broke out into good-natured laughter. "Is there even such thing as 'pre-morning sickness'?"

-

**Author's Notes**

It's official. I'm crazy. And I apologise sincerely for the torture Yukimura had to undergo. Poor boy. And stupid woman. Go and get some glasses XD As for 'pre-morning sickness', don't even ask. I have no idea.

Well, now that I've finished ranting, tell me what you thought about it! Support the Waltz Pair by reviewing!!

--Duckii Mustang


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